Health experts say that grown men need about 2700 calories/day to maintain a healthy weight.
There are two problems with this doc talk.
One: There is scant evidence that, at 54, I am a grown man.
Two: My body disagree with this "figure" (it used "figure" as a figure of speech-isn't my body hilarious?).
We were up late last night arguing about it.
"Listen, dude. I want at least 4000 calories a day down that gullet of yours or I'm shuttin' the whole thing down."
"Gullet of mine? It's yours too. Let me speak to the brain."
"He's sleeping. And he has enough to think about with your silly blogs. Leave him alone."
"It says right here that I only need 2700 calories per day."
"I can't read, you idiot. Now get your ass to A&W for a cheddar bacon uncle burger combo or I'll pop some mighty hemorrhoids out your blowhole."
The "debate" continues…and it works up a mean appetite.
