Helloooo Newman: Weather Torn

Helloooo Newman: Weather Torn: I tell ya, I'm really torn about this weather. Beautiful, sunny, hot weather allows me to wear my two-piece bathing suit even longer int...

Weather Torn

I tell ya, I'm really torn about this weather.

Beautiful, sunny, hot weather allows me to wear my two-piece bathing suit even longer into the year, guzzle beer on the dock, and show off my skin-coloured tats, starting noon sharp. And people don't stare, because they're enjoying the weather too.

For a fraction of a second, in-between burps, I say "wait a minute".  This weather means we're all doomed, eventually. When? Who knows? Hopefully just before the moment people say to themselves, hey, you don't look so hot in that two-piecer anymore.

It's kind of nice existing during this existential crisis, when the weather is so gorgeous. I mean, when the dinosaurs died off, the weather really sucked. Meteorites will do that.

So, we're kind of lucky. Humanity will die off with a really nice tan, probably in a beer garden somewhere.

Helloooo Newman: A House, Fallen

Helloooo Newman: A House, Fallen: Hey - former Nazi, okay?  All I know is I've never had a Nazi in my house, let alone tell him what an awesome guy he is.

A House, Fallen

Hey - former Nazi, okay?

 All I know is I've never had a Nazi in my house,
let alone tell him what an awesome guy he is.

Helloooo Newman: Home, Sweet Ford

Helloooo Newman: Home, Sweet Ford:   After careful consultation with himself, and a small bribe, Doug Ford has approved the construction of housing on his forehead.

Home, Sweet Ford

 

After careful consultation with himself, and a small bribe,
Doug Ford has approved the construction of housing on his forehead.

Helloooo Newman: Regrets. I've had a few.

Helloooo Newman: Regrets. I've had a few.:   I guess big boy is regretting this now. And this? Enough reminiscing.

Regrets. I've had a few.

 

I guess big boy is regretting this now.
Praying for your marriage? In front of your kids?

And this?

Enough reminiscing.

Helloooo Newman: Trudopian

Helloooo Newman: Trudopian:   Since my plane won't work, maybe I should just move to India. I love the costumes. That flight had really crappy food. Should I go bac...

Trudopian

 

Since my plane won't work, maybe I should just move to India.

I love the costumes.

That flight had really crappy food.

Should I go back to the beard?

I hope Sophie doesn't get the hand blender. I really like that blender.

Hmmm. This Halloween. What's a good costume?

I thought GDP meant good day for the Prime Minister!