HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
Thursday 27 April 2023
Helloooo Newman: Best before wine
Helloooo Newman: Best before wine: I noticed an article with the headline, How long does wine last after you open it? In our house, oh, about 10 minutes.
Best before wine
I noticed an article with the headline, How long does wine last after you open it?
In our house, oh, about 10 minutes.
Monday 24 April 2023
Helloooo Newman: Want a Tesla
Helloooo Newman: Want a Tesla: One of my clients offered to sell me their Tesla. I said I'd give my left Teslacle for a Tesla. Unfortunately, I can't give them any...
Want a Tesla
One of my clients offered to sell me their Tesla. I said I'd give my left Teslacle for a Tesla. Unfortunately, I can't give them any money.
Wednesday 19 April 2023
Helloooo Newman: Govern-mentally ill
Helloooo Newman: Govern-mentally ill: The government is going on strike. Feel free to enjoy productive and happy lives now.
Govern-mentally ill
The government is going on strike. Feel free to enjoy productive and happy lives now.
Monday 10 April 2023
Helloooo Newman: Whole truth
Helloooo Newman: Whole truth: Have you tried the new Whole Foods product? Fresh - never frozen - ICE
Thursday 6 April 2023
Helloooo Newman: Chocolate Jesus
Helloooo Newman: Chocolate Jesus: Looking forward to hunting for that chocolate baby Jesus this weekend. I like the one with white icing for diapers. Stay away from the choc...
Chocolate Jesus
Looking forward to hunting for that chocolate baby Jesus this weekend.
I like the one with white icing for diapers. Stay away from the chocolate icing. Actually I prefer the naked baby Jesus. But circumcised. Looks way better.
I wonder if my wife will hide it in the man cave again this year. Getting kind of tired of that. It's getting easier and easier to find it. Can you help me move the boulder, honey?
Found 2 nails in the one last year. That was weird.
How can we even tell if this is what baby Jesus actually looked like? Would they really risk taking a mould of his face, given the weight if his responsibilities and the fact that most babies died 30 seconds after they were born back then. They grabbed a stand-in baby for sure. Looks a bit colicky too.
The drag about eating an entire chocolate baby Jesus in one sitting is that it's resurrected 3 days later in the form of explosive diarrhea.
I guess that's kind of a statement on the condition of our world. Until he comes back, anyway.
Tuesday 4 April 2023
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