Thursday 30 June 2016

You Like Me, You Really Like me




I read an article on LinkedIn called 7 Secrets to Make People Instantly Like You.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-secrets-make-people-instantly-like-you-sanjoy-kumar-malik-1?trk=hp-feed-article-title-ppl-follow

Instantly? Why the rush? Do you also need instant coffee? Wait a bit and the coffee is much better.

I usually give people a few minutes to like me. As I see it, liking me is kind of like enjoying liver. No one "instantly" likes eating liver. But then suddenly you love it.

When I was younger I gave people an hour because I had more time left to live.

If I meet someone really old, they get a few seconds because they have less time to live.

Adjusting for different time zones is tricky and synchronizing watches is a bitch.

I once got in a fight with someone on a plane because she thought we crossed the International Date Line and claimed it took her 24 hours plus a few minutes to like me.

Bollocks, I said. We ended up dating.

Alas, in the end almost everyone likes me very much.

For those few who can't manage to like me, I give them cash to like me.

Some call them hookers.