The Kremlin, aka Vladimir Putin, reacted harshly to accusations regarding Russian officials hiding billions of dollars in secret Panamanian bank accounts.
After carefully constructing their response, the Russians issued a statement on CNN, calling the allegations a "series of fibs".
Fibbing is against the law in Russia.
When called "guilty" beyond a reasonable doubt, the Russian officials got red-faced, bleating, "I know you are, but what am I?"
This was followed by, "Sticks and stones may break our bones, but names will never find the account numbers" and "your momma's so ugly she makes onions cry."
Putin, who was busy counting money in his crib, was quoted as saying, "I am rubber, you are glue. Anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you."
Reporters asked about the paper trail.
"Dickweed", responded the Russians.
Reporters: There is too much corruption in the Kremlin.
Kremlin: It takes one to know one.
Reporters: How can you ignore these serious allegations?
Kremlin: Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
The Russians started to tantrum, upset their food bowls and stormed out.
Panamanian pandemonium ensued.
