Wednesday 27 April 2016

Vote for Me


Do you ever feel like you need a vote of confidence?

I don't mean from people.

I mean from the universe.

I need a vote of confidence from the universe. I picture myself as a candidate in an election, running as a person who wants to get somewhere in this life.

I need the universe's vote. It's only one vote, but it's a huge vote. It's the entire election, really.

Excuse me Mr. universe, my life is not the Olympics and I am not a hurdles runner, so stop putting hurdles in my way.

I'm a politician, running for my life, and my slogan is, "Shit, what's gonna happen next?"

Didn't you see my election ads? Hi, my name's Paul and I'm looking for a life. Vote for me and feel really good about yourself.

Maybe I should have gone with my alternative slogan, "Make Paul great again!"

Maybe my luck has just run out. I've had a huge amount of it, for sure. But where is it now?

If you had just told me how much luck I am allotted, Mr. universe, I would have dispersed it more evenly, instead of using it all up in my toddler years. What the hell good does that do me?

Thanks for the heads up, Mr. universe.

Now my head's down.

Looking for a littl' bit of bloomin' luck.