I peppered him with questions about the dead.
Logical questions, I thought.
I was friend-chatting and we were talking The Walking Dead.
Something has always nagged the back of my mind about that show.
Me: Why don't the zombies ever get tired?
Him: Cuz they are dead.
Me: Why don't they feel pain, like when they get shot or run over by a car? Why don't they bleed to death?
Him: Cuz they are already dead. Dummy.
Me: Okay, now I'm getting it. There's a Zombie logic operating here. Do zombies poop?
Him: What? Of course not. They are dead.
Me: Okay, okay. Do they ever get hungry?
Him: Why would they get hungry?
Me: Well, when they attack people, they eat their flesh.
Him: Ya.
Me: But why eat if they're already dead? And if they eat, why don't they poop it out? Where do all the human innards they gobble up go?
Him: Wow, you're disturbed.
Me: It's completely logical. They don't need to eat, so why attack people? Why not just enjoy all the benefits of zombie death – no job, no rent to pay, and yet they can still watch a nice sunset and read a good book?
I think you should stop watching the show until these questions are answered properly.
He walked away. Doesn't return my calls.
He's dead to me.
