Mud Spatter Expert

I'm studying to be a mud spatter expert. I might combine that will serial killing, but I'm not sure yet.

From a simple mud spatter on your car or boot, I'll be able to glean important information, like size and depth of puddle, walking speed, angle of puddle penetration, and whether you were out buying illegal prescription drugs or paying a hooker.

I can see that might get a little boring after a while. That's why I might throw in serial killing. Just not sure yet. It's a whole different skill set, really. Plus I have to decide on things like will I specialize in killing bad people only, or pick my victims at random, or maybe only kill people who watch the new Roseanne show.