I must have a cold in my butt, cuz that's where his nose is all the time. Come to think of it, I do feel a bit stuffy down there. Taco Bell gave me a cold!
Newman is my family dogtor.
"Hold still, I'm taking your temperature."
"You have an exceptionally long tongue."
"Shhhh. Can you cough 3 times?"
"Can I get a second opinion? I know a very smart Lhasa Apso."
"You need bed rest and drink lots of toilet water. Stay away from solid foods, especially shoe laces and twist ties. Let's do a colonoscopy while I'm down here."
"I'm feeling very ill."
"Whoa, your face. Looks like my green frog toy. Let me know if you puke. I'll eat it. Time for your MRI. Stick your head in the microwave."
"You know what? I'm feeling much better. I could run a marathon. Starting now."
"Come back. I need to draw blood."
