I don't get the idea of hanging a crucifix/rosary in my car. Why? Is it like some kind of religious airbag? Extra insurance, apart from your basic car, health and life insurance packages?
"TODAY, PAUL (God speaks in all caps), YOU WILL NOT DIE IN A HORRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT. THIS OTHER FAMILY WILL. I AM, HOWEVER, GIVING YOU A MINOR HEAD INJURY BECAUSE YOU WERE SPEEDING THROUGH A STOP SIGN."
If you examine a crucifix in a car closely (carcifix?), you'll notice it's a sharp pointy object that hangs almost directly in front of your face, when used religiously. Does that make sense? Once you get to the hospital after hitting another car at 100kph, might the surgeon find a crucifix lodged in your hypothalamus? Seems to me a distinct possibility. Is there one in the Popemobile?
Have you ever noticed that the shittier the car, the more likely it will have a crucifix dangling from the front mirror? Check it out yourself. Jesus loves the shitboxes. He would have driven one way back when. It complements the poor carpenter lifestyle. Probably a hatchback, to comfortably carry the cross while giving a few Roman soldiers a lift. A nice gesture, which is what Jesus is all about.
You will not find a crucifix in a Tesla, and let's face it, that car doesn't need one. It's already a travelling bouncy castle, with side, top, bottom and dvd player airbags.
I drove with one guy who didn't like to hang the adult Jesus-on-the-cross rosary. He preferred the baby Jesus. Damn thing cried all way to the cottage. "Are we there yet?" Shatup!
I've never seen a crucifix hanging from a motorcycle. Now, don't you think that's when you really need protection? You don't want to leave your brains in your helmet, do you? I guess Jesus doesn't cover bikes. Too much liability.
I suppose the presence of the crucifix is saying that Jesus is the real driver of your car, just like he's driving your life. You're just a passenger along for the ride. And you have no idea what the route is.
What makes more sense is hanging a little Mario Andretti doll from your mirror. At least he was a skilled driver. Isn't he the patron saint of driving shitboxes?
Me? I hang dice. Life is a complete gamble. At some point we all roll snake eyes.
