Wit Bits and Bites

Is it possible to move in just a zig pattern and skip the zag part?

There are times when I plan to move in a zigzag pattern, like when I walk Newman up and down the streets, but after I finish the zig part I find there's no time for the zag part. I'm too tired, or more likely I have explosive diarrhea.

How do I know I've walked the zig part and not the zag part? I guess the zig always comes first, so it's impossible to walk only the zag part. No one walks a zagzig pattern. That would be silly.

Also, I need more zig in my zag.



They sell toilet paper all wrong. Instead of giving me a sheet/roll count, I would prefer the number of estimated decent wipes/roll that I can expect to get, given an average bowel movement. They could also give a wipe count for different conditions, like explosive diarrhea, loose stool, normal movement etc. I think more toilet paper would move off the shelves and onto bums.



Overkill is a silly word. How can you overkill someone, unless you also think people can be overdead?

If you can be overdead, you can also be underdead, which can only mean that you are alive. There are two kinds of people in the world: those that enjoy being alive and those that tolerate being underdead.

I'm a supporter of capital punishment so I think murderers that overkill should be overexecuted.

Using overkill is overkill.



(Oh my, explosive diarrhea twice in one blog)