I was wondering about the Apple Care warranty. Would it cover a used computer?
NO. The shiney Apple man explained to me that the standard Apple Care warranty does not cover used stuff, accidents or acts of God?
Acts of God? Is that written right in the warranty? Which Psalm is that?
Well, I couldn't leave that alone.
I told him I am agnostic. Does that affect the warranty?
He was uncertain. Just like me! Then he offered me a free di-agnostic.
The results of the di-agnostic: I was a lapsed Catholic and could not be fixed. An act of God? Interesting question.
I went whole hog. I absolutely do not believe on God. He said if I can prove there is no God, Apple will fix my computer even if I stick it in the washing machine for a cycle. Hmmmm. Proof? Toughie.
I wasn't done. What if the damage falls under the Act of God clause, but a few weeks later we discover there actually is no God?
No. Because Steve Jobs is God. Or His replacement, anyway.
What if there are several Gods and they get in an argument? One God decides he wants to cause damage to my computer, but the other Gods didn't give their stamp of approval for this deliberate action. Am I covered?
He said all arguments between Gods are handled in God Court. These proceedings are secret. Sorry. All Mighty convenient for them.
Are you telling me God can deliberately break my computer? Doesn't that make Him a mean God? Shouldn't you cover the computer to discourage God from misbehaving?
"Sir, we've decided to sell our store to a Chipotle franshise. Please leave."
