I'm terrified of skydiving, or the idea of it. I thought it would be an interesting experiment to skydive while strapped in a La-Z-Boy chair. Then I don't know if I should be scared or fall asleep.
I've never found a can opener that works properly. It always leaves a tiny bit of uncut metal, forcing me to twist off the lid, cut my finger and get pee soup on my pants.
Almost ever day I worry about my diet:
• I wish my riboflavin had more flavin and less ribo.
• Is there enough coconut water in my urine?
• Am I eating too much BHT? IDK!
• What about my consumption of green bulge?
• Am I chewing enough xanthan gum?
• Is this used in Basketball? (see below)
• I adore egg whites, but I am not a racist. Kudos for not going with "Whites Only" (see below)
Drying fruit causes massive nutrient loss, depleting 30-80% of its vitamin content, according to the USDA. Previously they thought it depleted 0-100%. I predict they will discover it depletes 50-50%.
Do I get enough vitamins? I thought I was lacking in vitamin K, and quickly realized it was actually vitamin Elemenopee.
A 2010 study found 48% of fountain soda drinks contain fecal bacteria. Last week my doctor found mountain dew in my poo.
Chia seeds are highly hydrophilic - they absorb 9-10x their weight in water. So does the entire eating population at Red Lobster.
I look forward to waking up in the morning just so I can have a cup of coffee. Then I want to go back to bed until it's coffee time again.
