Working in That Happy Place
Most of us lead desperate, miserable lives working for the man. And let's not forget, the woman too (you fought for it, ladies).
But there are some jobs where it is impossible not to be happy. Here are two of those jobs.
PetSmart:
I've never seen a single depressed worker at PetSmart. In fact, they are almost always smiling, even at a steaming pile of poo. And no one, worker or customer, has ever been mean or curt to me at PetSmart.
This is true for anyone who works around animals, I think. My vet is the happiest guy I have ever met. Always chatting and smiling, even after removing animal genitalia. Imagine how happy he'll be when it's time for The Long Island Medium to contact him (not anytime soon, I hope). Of course, his fees are also something for him to be very excited about. The fixing of Newman is not just painful for him, you know.
Back to PetSmart. Can you imagine this conversation ever taking place? "Oh man, Jerry, what a crappy day today. This incredibly cute puppy licked me on the face and snuggled in my chin, got me all wet. Then he peed on the floor and everyone was laughing and smiling. Even my boss. Then I had to break it to a few customers that we were fresh out of the truck sized cookies, Polo dog t-shirts, the giraffe costume for dogs, the smurf rhinestone bows for poodles, and we only had the jumper for puppies in puke yellow. Those rude customers just smiled, thanked me and said they'd be back another time. I just can't go back there, Jerry (tears)". Won't happen!
Cobs Bread: There is something about the smell of freshly baked bread that puts everyone in a good mood. Again, everyone who works at this store is smiling. This olfactory heaven sure beats regular factory work. It can't be the money they are making. These are little kids working there, and they ain't getting much dough, so to speak. I understand why all the blonde, sculpted and tanned mom customers are happy. There's lots of room in their Escalade to stuff children, expensive kids furniture from Scholar's Choice, a latte that takes two minutes to order, and a loaf or two. I once saw a blonde woman there who was pregnant - she looked like a snake that had just eaten a bowling ball - thin, thin, thin, thin, bulge, thin thin, thin. Must be feeding the fetus croutons. No body fat to chew on, that's for sure.
Smell is the oldest and one of the most important senses that humans have. That's too bad, because I'm the one that gets all the dog poop from the backyard. Lately I've been inserting bread pieces from Cobs in my nose while I scour the backyard for dog feces. I'm sure as I continue this habit I'll remember to remove them when I go to meetings.
Try cleaning dog poop from the backyard at the end of winter. It's like an excavation site. Oh, this poop froze on January 11th, that why it's lower in the ice than this poop, which froze on Feb. 10th. It froze first. It's very educational and fun. Global warming will ruin all this fun.
I think I'll follow this up with places where people should be very happy, but aren't always. The LCBO (under worked and over paid), the Post Office (very under worked and very over paid) and any store that sells adult sex toys (very under paid but very over sexed).
