A little learning is a dangerous thing
Everyone thinks it's nice to have a smart dog. People always say cats are smarter and it would be nice if dogs were that smart too.
Let me quickly deal with the "cats are smarter" mantra. I presume people think cats are smarter because they resist all the silly "tricks" humans try to get dogs to do. Like chasing a ball. Ask a cat to chase a ball and the cat will "think" about it, and then might decide do it, or might lie under the sofa. The cat is smart because he can "decide" whether or not to participate in an activity that doesn't really benefit him much. He is not a prisoner to his base instincts. Because of this behaviour, people see cats as having an attitude, and you can't have an attitude without some kind of intelligence.
Well, bollocks! Let's apply this cat behaviour to humans and see if we would label it smart. When people have an attitude, especially children, we don't call them smart, we call them smart assess. Let's say we humans are participating in some activity that we really don't enjoy but must do because someone has asked us to (similar to asking a cat to chase a ball). What do we always say? Cheer up. Take a positive attitude and life will be more rewarding. We don't say, "There's Billy under the boardroom table again refusing to help with the monthly reports. I tell ya, that guy is getting smarter and smarter every day. I only wish I were that smart so I could lie on the rug, learn nothing and get fired". So it's not that Billy is too smart to work, it's that he'll be a welfare bum soon. The cat won't get the ball so, ergo, cats are welfare bums. Cats are very cute and I adore them. But bums they are.
This is why dogs and cats don't always get along. Dogs work for their room and board whereas cats might take the job, might not. You'll often see packs of dogs passing cats and yelling, "Get a job, ya bum. Chase a ball for cat's sake".
One more thing. Cats love to chase those laser lights. These devices shine a tiny, focussed light on the wall. Cats will do this all day. But think about it (cats don't). They are chasing a light that is physically unattainable. Slightly less unattainable than me becoming a Rhodes Scholar. Dogs at least get a slimy, gross, chewed up ball out of the deal.
Anywho, it is not good having a smart dog. That little extra knowledge they have can be very frustrating. When we visit people at the cottage and leave Newman behind, we have developed a brilliant system of coaxing him into the cottage with a cookie. He obviously doesn't want to be left behind (dogs are pack animals before anything else) so we use the cookie to entice him in. Well, now this smart dog has figured out our system so whenever we go in the cottage and hold a cookie in front of him, he darts in the opposite direction. Sure, that's cute and smart, but it's also highly annoying.
Now we have to up the ante to get him inside. We pulled out the peanut butter. I love my peanut butter and I don't love sharing it. Sure enough, it worked. But for how long? Soon we'll need a t-bone steak, some foie gras, candles, maybe a female poodle and some flavoured oils. Where will it end?
So I'm against dogs that have done a little too much learnin'. I don't want them dumb as a stump, like our guinea pig. She's awfully cute but has a brain the size of a kernel of corn at best. When you move the vacuum near her, which could end her life instantly and in a horrible fashion, she moves towards it, not away. She's got a bit of learnin' to do.
No, I want my dog just smart enough to take a job and be happy with it.
* My Title is from a poem by Alexander Pope.
