My Favourite Organ
I would like to discuss my favourite organ. Oh, please people…the brain… the BRAIN.
It makes sense that the brain is my favourite organ. It's my brain making that very decision. My brain thought of this sentence. In fact, this isn't Paul, it's his brain, um, me. So I'm my favourite organ. But you can continue to refer to as me as Paul, this aging vehicle that hopes to benefit from Toronto's upcoming Transportation taxes.
Did you ever stop to realize that when we humans study the brain, it's really the brain studying itself? It's doing all the work. This realization astounded me. We humans tend to separate ourselves from our brains. We're not our brains, we are these entities or personalities moving around in space. I am Paul, whatever that is. We separate ourselves from the world, too. So many people are concerned about how we humans are upsetting the plan of the universe. We take "x" action and that upsets the natural course of things. What if we and everything we do are part of the natural course? How can we not be? How can we answer this question? My brain, sorry, "I", hurt.
I know it's scary to think we are part of the plan. That means Snooki and the show Toddlers and Tiaras must be part of the plan too. Having these things in the world doesn't mean there's no plan. It just means the plan sucks fuel lines.
And I realize I'm ignoring the elephant in the room. The soul. We all do things that are good for the "soul". But come on, it's the brain telling "us" that the soul feels good now that we've had a latte enema, ingested pro-biotics, anti-biotics, and bought the new robotics. The brain could be lying to us, you know. To deflect responsibility from itself. Or ourselves.
No, it's all the brain. If it's not then why is the brain about 2% of the body's weight but consumes 20% of the body's energy to keep running. How big is the soul? How much energy does it use? Good luck with that one. You might as was well try to understand a hydro bill. A pole charge?
That brings a question to mind. What powers energy? Does it power itself? If so, then wouldn't it use itself up? Not according to the First Law of Thermodynamics. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transferred, like into a can of Red Bull. Does God power energy? What powers God? Maybe He too can neither be created nor destroyed. But energy needs to be powered, so who powers Him? Maybe God is energy. But if God is energy why don't churches supply energy? What would you rather have from God, a special apple or free power? Oh well.
I can tell it's all the brain because of the lengths people are going to nowadays to "improve" it. The latest trend I read about is do-it-yourself brain stimulation. It's not reading, or learning the piano, or having an interesting conversation. That's so prehuman. It is zapping the brain's cortex with a mild electric shock. Obviously the key word here is mild. It's just mild enough so that you don't end up drooling spit and riding the Queen streetcar carrying a ploughshare and threatening to annex the annex.
There is something to this. I saw a special on PBS about a man that was struck by lightning. After being struck, and with no prior musical knowledge or interest at all, he suddenly developed an urge to listen to piano music. He would sneak into his neighbour's backyard to listen to them play. Then he taught himself to play. Soon after he was composing and playing in public. That is incredible. What a transformation.
I also heard of another man that was struck by lightning, but he went a different route. He developed the urge (skill?) to masturbate on park benches. He couldn't resist. That's a problem. How do you know which skill you'll end up with if you zap your brain? What if you get a combo of the two skills? That would be audience-limiting.
But the real problem with this method is that if it's so easy, then everyone will be doing it. And if everyone does it then we're all the same again. No special advantage. We'll all be smarter and able to get things done faster but we'll just find other perplexing things to do and think about. Then we'll feel like we're in the same place we started.
Will we be happier? I'm not so sure. My feeling is that connecting to things outside of ourselves is more satisfying than obsessing about our own neuron connections. I could be wrong. It depends who you ask - my brain or my soul.
