Monday 19 October 2015

It's Your Fault I Won

The Canadian election reminds me of that famous Groucho Marx line, later co-opted by Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

Paraphrasing, the line is, "I would not join a club that would have me as a member."

If I were running as leader of a particular party, I would not vote for myself. I would also not kiss any baby who was going to vote for me, and the same goes for their parents.

In fact, I would choose not to represent the people who voted for me. It's entirely their problem they voted for me. They shouldn't have. After all, I didn't vote for myself.

I would not join the party that wanted me as their leader. I would probably move to another country if I won, and rule from that other country.

I would still enjoy actually running for office, only to be able to not vote for myself.

You see, I already know the truth about myself, and I know that I am not up for the job of PM.

The electorate? Well, they'll just have to find that out in good time. I've done my part by not voting for myself.

Anything I do in office after that is okay, because I didn't vote for myself. All my mistakes would be the fault of the people who didn't know me, and decided to vote for me.

If I actually won and became PM, I would continue refusing to accept the position, but would still rule over my subjects.

They would insist I rule or they would have to admit they wasted their vote, which is really stupid of them, but that's their choice.

So, I hope I don't have your vote.

Candidate, E: Paul Hardie – SPOILED