Здравствуйте
The title of this article is From Russia with Love.
The Russian word above is "hello". In Russian, of course.
I would like to thank all my Russian friends for their support. You see, in the last few weeks the most readers I have had are from…(drum roll) Russia.
I'm as shocked as you are.
It's such a coincidence, because I have more in common with Vlad Poutine (Canadian spelling of Putin) than you would think.
First of all, I write all my articles with my shirt off. As I type on the keys, my sinewy muscles reverberate shock waves throughout my neighbourhood, much like Vlad's does when he is fishing. What's he fishing for? Must be Sturgeon, for the caviar. Or maybe for another piece of land he feels belongs to him.
I'll admit, I don't wrestle tigers and sharks, like Vlad does, but I do wrestle with my morals, my daughter, and with the English language, so that I can write with just the right, um, words.
Another coincidence – one of my great influences in writing is none other than the legendary Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
If you look closely, there are hints of Dostoyevsky's The Idiot in my work.
I know this because my fans say, "Paul, I read your last blog and it reminded me of an idiot."
I'm so flattered to be compared to, like, only the best Russian writer in history.
Or, maybe my blogs are a tale told by an idiot. Still, that's another great writer – Shakespeare.
Don't get me wrong, my Russian fans. I only make fun of your leader, not your country, the citizens or the magnificent history. I make fun of all political leaders, because they are all liars and cheaters (save for one or two, I guess), and no offence, but they should all keep their shirts on. Aren't you glad Boris Yeltsin kept his shirt on?
I can poke fun at the leaders in my country, Canada, just as easily. We have Justin Trudeau, still in diapers. I think he will win and Canada will collectively suck their thumbs.
Tom Mulcair, who thinks writing letters on paper and having them delivered door-to-door via the post office is the future of communication.
And Stephen Harper, whose face is being used to model the new doll in the latest Chucky horror film, Chucky Hides in the Closet to Save his Own Ass from the Gunman.
In fact, I've been to Russia twice, to adopt my wonderful daughter. I don't remember a whole lot, on account of the vodka I.V. I was on. But I do remember getting my daughter, because at this moment she is screaming her head off about some boy at school.
The people we met were wonderful and generous. I do hope our political leaders learn to get along, like you and I do.
The Russian word above is "hello". In Russian, of course.
I would like to thank all my Russian friends for their support. You see, in the last few weeks the most readers I have had are from…(drum roll) Russia.
I'm as shocked as you are.
It's such a coincidence, because I have more in common with Vlad Poutine (Canadian spelling of Putin) than you would think.
First of all, I write all my articles with my shirt off. As I type on the keys, my sinewy muscles reverberate shock waves throughout my neighbourhood, much like Vlad's does when he is fishing. What's he fishing for? Must be Sturgeon, for the caviar. Or maybe for another piece of land he feels belongs to him.
I'll admit, I don't wrestle tigers and sharks, like Vlad does, but I do wrestle with my morals, my daughter, and with the English language, so that I can write with just the right, um, words.
Another coincidence – one of my great influences in writing is none other than the legendary Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
If you look closely, there are hints of Dostoyevsky's The Idiot in my work.
I know this because my fans say, "Paul, I read your last blog and it reminded me of an idiot."
I'm so flattered to be compared to, like, only the best Russian writer in history.
Or, maybe my blogs are a tale told by an idiot. Still, that's another great writer – Shakespeare.
Don't get me wrong, my Russian fans. I only make fun of your leader, not your country, the citizens or the magnificent history. I make fun of all political leaders, because they are all liars and cheaters (save for one or two, I guess), and no offence, but they should all keep their shirts on. Aren't you glad Boris Yeltsin kept his shirt on?
I can poke fun at the leaders in my country, Canada, just as easily. We have Justin Trudeau, still in diapers. I think he will win and Canada will collectively suck their thumbs.
Tom Mulcair, who thinks writing letters on paper and having them delivered door-to-door via the post office is the future of communication.
And Stephen Harper, whose face is being used to model the new doll in the latest Chucky horror film, Chucky Hides in the Closet to Save his Own Ass from the Gunman.
In fact, I've been to Russia twice, to adopt my wonderful daughter. I don't remember a whole lot, on account of the vodka I.V. I was on. But I do remember getting my daughter, because at this moment she is screaming her head off about some boy at school.
The people we met were wonderful and generous. I do hope our political leaders learn to get along, like you and I do.
Любовь , от Канады
Moscow Metro station. A tad more glorious than Bloor station.
