Idea for a movie: The Three Wise Guys. Based on the life of the three wise men, they were Jesus' bagmen. Collect money for Jesus, take delinquent payers and prayers into the stable and break their hands with a hammer.
One person who clearly doesn't know gambling is René Angélil.
Who's that? His more well known name is Celine Dion's husband. Or "That creepy old guy married to that famous Canadian singer".
Last time I was livin' la vida loca in Las Vegas, I found out that Mr. Dion built up a gambling debt of some $100 million dollars.
Okay, so he never spent time in Mr. Rogers' neighbourhood listened to his music. I totally understand that. He didn't know about holdin' 'em and foldin' 'em.
But still…you gotta question…
I think when I got to $10 million in loses, I might have said to myself, "Ya, you know what? I think I have a slight problem. I know I'm just a beginner so I'll give it another try, but I'm gonna keep in the back of my mind the Gambler's Anonymous tel # and maybe consider some other hobbies."
When I hit $30 million, I might have said, "Okay, I get it. Gambling doesn't come naturally to me. I have a lot of strengths, but bluffing isn't one of them. I'm gonna put Gambler's Anonymous on speed dial."
At $50 million? "Time for some serious thought. Maybe I should take a break. Take in a Cirque du Soleil show. Maybe I shouldn't live in a city that is completely devoted to gambling and praying on the hopes and dreams of desperate people. My wife makes a ton of cash. I could live anywhere. Des Moines, Iowa, maybe. Get my focus back."
At $99,999,999? "Fuck, man. It appears I'm really losing here. I'm not so sure I can turn this around anymore. One more dollar. I'll try just one more dollar. Then I'll ask my wife for more money."
