We at Helloooo Newman have a very exciting announcement to make.
Finally, the media spotlight can be taken off Forrest Trump, the I-ran from a decent nuclear deal, and Vladimir Punytin's shirtless foreign policy.
Time for the world to celebrate.
Helloooo Newman will be starting a Youtube series – Newman's Vlog
Now, now. Calm down. I know you're just getting off the high of Game of Thrones. You've had enough of sex and violence for one lifetime, right?
Well, we can offer you some violence – you will violently laugh! You will claw your way to the computer for the next hilarious episode.
Negotiations are in their final stages with the production company – WTF, a little-known transgender company of HBO.
The people at WTF have been wonderful. The terms of the contract were very easy to negotiate. Make it funny, or we will murder you and the entire cast.
How's that for making a deal? I think WTF is running for president.
Newman's Vlog will be entirely crowd-funded, with funds comprising dog food. To contribute some dog treats, please contact me privately. If you want to throw in a beer or two, I won't complain.
The first script is in the works and will appear before xmas.
Please don't worry. The same quality blog articles that keep you up at night laughing will still be coming. But now you can also watch Newman.
And the best part? – no reading!
Stay tuned.
"…and those wonderful people out there in the dark. Alright, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my closeup."
