I've been told to wear this silly thing around my neck and wish you Happy Canada Day. But I really want to smell that cute poodle over there. What? Did she just look at me? Oh, I feel so silly. I get this from my dad, who thinks every cute "poodle" he sees is staring at him and confusing him with some guy named Ryan Gosling. Sounds like the name of an arctic bird to me. Looooozer. I just wish they'd cut my flippin' hair so that poodle can see my gorgeous eyes. My best feature. Well, ever since that guy in the mask with the large knife came at me and removed what little bragging rights I have. These owners of mine are such maroons. Today I dropped a huge one in the car. Hee hee, I coulda held it no problem. Don't tell them. They'll be Febrezing their car for the next month. Try going shopping again without me, you smarty-pant human. Suuuure, you are the superior race, picking up my poop and saving it in some green container. Meanwhile you throw away tons of perfectly good food. And when you vomit you don't even have the courtesy to eat it again. Perfectly good food!
This humans race is going nowhere fast. Dogs rule. What the heck is a Canada? Happy Dog Day.
