I hate when people stop me on the street with no warning and ask for directions. Especially when it's for something that should be easy to find. Like my own house.
My I.Q. drops like the Nasdaq and I'm a flibbering idiot.
"Excuse me, can you give me directions to your house?"
"Duh, okay. You turn straight, duh, and then you doopey doo down there, and then…"
After the person drives away you realize you gave the wrong directions. So you try to exit the neighbourhood before you run into the person again.
"Hey, shit head. Thanks for the detour (throws beer bottle).
"You've lived in Toronto how long?"
"All my life but, you know, a third of that time was spent sleeping."
