Going through a Canadian election is like taking 30 of your favourite barbiturates, grinding them to a powder, mixing it in some warm Ovaltine and drinking slowly (don't forget to add milk and support the dairy industry), then you watch old Love Boat episodes where everyone is smiling, your internal organs begin to shut down, then your brain stem stops functioning and soon you lose the interest to get up in the morning.
It's also like stuffing yourself with those plain timbits that have zero icing and flavour, kind of like gobbling down bundled up drier sheets - unscented, because you don't want to add any flavour. Drier sheet donuts. What's the fucking point?
Fever doesn't enter into a Canadian election. It's more like election hypothermia. Close to death.
Too bad. You can't take advantage of all those tax cuts. $5 back on your gym membership. $10 if you have sex in the shower and start a family. You owe money if you masturbate, wasting the opportunity to start a family.
Because it's all about families. As opposed to those people that don't come from families. Ya, those people. Born out of a vagina-like creature and not deserving of government lucre.
James T. Kirk: Bones, can you save him? Can you save the Canadian voter?
Bones: He's dead, Jim.
Kirk: Bones, you've got to try. One. Last. Time. Mister.
Bones: I'm a doctor, not a concerned citizen.
* The opinions above do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Helloooo Newman.
** My name is Newman and I approved this message.
