Cyber Baby

I think my biggest fear for the human's race these days is that Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber will procreate together.

I know my fears should be around warmth spreading across the globe, but have you ever thought of what the songs of Cyrus, Bieber, and then their "Cy-ber" baby blanketing the planet would do to the human intellect?

The prospect is chilling.

I read in a wonderful book called A Short History of Nearly Everything (by Bill Bryson) that, according to scientists, 50% of all the genes we carry around in us seem to have no purpose whatsoever. They exist just to reproduce themselves.

In the case of Cyrus, Bieber and Cyber baby, that means 150% of them have no function at all except to reproduce their music. The other 150% (they each get 100%, which is generous) is spread equally amongst them as such: 50% for looks, 50% for brain power, 50% for talent. That means about 16.75% of each of them is talent. My math must be wrong because that seems so high.

The awful truth we Canadians must come to terms with is that Miley Cyrus's current and highly original hit "Wrecking Ball" was written by a Canadian. I think this is kept secret to protect innocent Canadians and to hide the fact that the skank didn't write her own hit song, which really isn't her song.

I saw recently that Bieber was hit in the head with a water bottle in Brazil. He kept the private audience waiting for three hours. I would say he's lucky to be alive. Still, I'm into kindness these days so I have to admit that the water bottle thing is mean. Having said that, if I were at a Bieber brouhaha, which I would only attend if I were in a coffin or urn and taken there without my awareness, I think the urge to whack him with something would probably overcome me.

I am a huge fan of Youtube. I think it is the best resource around for spreading useful information about all kinds of endeavours, including music. And it's free.

I would be fully supportive of ending Youtube as a resource if it meant Cyber baby won't be able to spread his or her music.

Yes, the dark ages are looking more and more attractive.