A quick read on the topic in What Color is Your Parachute convinced me that I'm not qualified for this vocation.
The first barrier was IQ. Jeffrey Dahmer, who gave a new meaning to "head lettuce", had an IQ of 144. Ted Bundy – 136. Ted Kaczynski an astounding 167. Fuck, I can't compete with that. He was more Einstein than Einstein. I can't even tie a good knot to bound and gag someone.
Another feature of the successful serial killer is an engaging personality. Strike two for me. I had my first date at age 30. She either slapped me or I drank too much and walked into a bus, but it failed miserably. Clearly my personality needed nurturing, watering, good soil, and a lot of time to develop. Like, maybe until I was 90? I can see my bio. The handicap parking space murders. What a great way to lure victims. "Hey, on your way to the mall? I get the best parking."
I don't mean to sound insensitive, but while a killer like Bundy was really smart, some of his victims were a tad lacking. One of Bundy's ploys was to approach a group of women on a beach and ask them to help him move his 4-ton sailboat that was stuck in mud. Pardon me? I don't want to be sexist, but wouldn't that tip you off to something fishy, and it ain't in the boat? Wouldn't your go-to for heavy lifting be strong men? That would be like me luring men by asking them what they thought of my swatches for a love seat I just bought. As a woman, I'd at least peg him as a porn director.
Eventually, I found other career opportunities.
