Bad news, folks. Helloooo Newman's popularity is sinking. Fast. And we're wondering why.
Think of our blog like it's a McDonald's hamburger. Each article is made with 99.9% Canada grade A funny. Sure, there are some additives (lots of salt, sugar, fat, gluten, terrible for heart health), but essentially, it's a funny burger. A Happy Meal. Without the lineups and puke-stained washrooms.
But, there are other hamburgers out there, trying to go down better than us.
In light of this sad news, we at HN want your feedback.
We have two phone lines set up to hear what you have to say.
For positive feedback, call 1-800-NEWMANLOVESYOU
For negative feedback, call 1-800-IHOPENEWMANPOOSONYOURMATTRESS
Operators are standing by…
HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
