Friday 26 October 2018

Spic and Span


I'm never sure at which point in the cleaning process I achieve both spic and span. I guess it would be useful to know what the hell those words have to do with things being clean.

Who the hell chose Spic? "Hey Frank, what the hell should we call this new cleaner?"

"How about a racist and derogatory term for Mexicans?"

"That's new. Bold. I like it."

Today the more enlightened racists call them rapists and murderers. Rapists and Murderers and Span won't fit on the box above, and definitely doesn't sound like something I want to clean with.

Rapists and Murderers and Span: It kills germs, and your family. Tough on blood spatter too.

Span refers to time or distance. I never have the time to clean and the Windex is always too far from my bed, where I'm napping.

When I look at my bathroom, I definitely feel like it's in a state of spic only.

Maybe I should try Arm and Hammer. More of the hammer, though, since the dirt is a few years old.