It's Not About the Money

When you consult a lawyer to sue someone for money, the first and most important statement your lawyer teaches you to say, as you would teach a monkey to ride a tricycle, is, "It's not about the money." And the more money asked for, the more it's not about the money.

Take the Winklevoss brothers, for example. They sued Mark Zuckerberg for stealing their idea for Facebook, even though they didn't call it Facebook, certainly didn't have the vision to monetize it to a $69 billion dollar company, and have funny names.

I guess you can tell I have no sympathy for the Winklevosses. I don't. Mostly because they didn't have the balls to say it was exactly and only about the money.

Winklevoss: It's not about the money. But since we're on the topic of money, we want $200 million instead of $100 million.

I would have liked to hear them say, "You fucked us up the ass, this thing is a huge success and you are rich, and we want some of that money, because we want to be rich like everyone else wants to be."

People are rarely honest when it comes to money. It's too crass. Makes you look like an ass.

Well, I'm going to change that. The other day I received a Starbucks coffee that was not quite hot enough. I spilled it on my leg and it was cool! Can you believe that?

I'm suing for $2.05, and I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, "IT'S ABOUT THE MONEY!"

I might even raise it to $3.

Because it's about the money.