Saudi Arabia presses ahead with its bold attempts at joining the modern human race.
Women still aren't 100% people, but with today's announcement, they are now 5.375% people. That's about the same status as women on Venus.
Women will be allowed to drive a car. Wait, let's not get ahead of ourselves. They need permission. From a man. Not just any man. The man that constantly screws around on her. The husband.
There are restrictions.
Women cannot drive a stick shift, as they might mistake this for a penis, and next thing you know the family unit falls apart.
Speaking of the tightly knit family, the woman must agree to first drop her husband off at his mistresses' house, and pick him up after he's finished his efforts at keeping the family together.
They are only allowed to steer in one direction, that direction being towards the kitchen. Slowly, over 1000 years, other directions will be introduced, until they can actually get somewhere.
They can only press the gas pedal and brake for 10 seconds at a time. Again, slowly over 1000 years, longer pedal pressing times will be introduced, until they can actually steer around objects or prevent the car from crashing into them. (please refer to steering rules above)
They cannot listen to My Sharona on the radio, because it sounds too much like My Shariah.
It's a slippery slope. Women will soon ask to drive men crazy with unreasonable demands, like, "Hey honey, can I be the only women you screw tonight?", or, "How about when you cheat with another woman, we cut your head off too?"
Progress.
HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
