Why do tow trucks get to have flashing lights, presuming to be some kind of ambulance or something? Are they rushing a car to the emergency room? At the garage? Will it die if they don't make it in time? Aren't cars towed because they are already dead?
Why can't I have flashing lights too? Sometimes going to pick up my banquet burger and onion rings is an emergency. I could easily die without them. I've already had several near-death experiences, in which I was eating nothing but boiled artichoke hearts, which I presumed was a sneak peak at Hell.
Next time you see a tow truck, block its path. I'm tired of vehicles, and some people, pretending to be something they are not.
Also, be a good person, so you don't have to eat artichoke hearts for eternity.
HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
