Have you ever had a Chinese cargo ship sail through your bedroom while you try to sleep?
I've been visited for the last week, so far. It sails under the name: My Wife Snoring.
My dear, sweet wife has a cold. The sound she produces whilst asleep can only be compared to a Chinese container ship, angrily tooting at the Trump tariff it will soon have to pay.
This is why I need: EARLIDS
I'm a huge fan of evolution. She made me to damn near perfection. I suffer hypertension, anxiety, hemochromatosis, depression, below normal self esteem, above normal self esteem, and unsightly hair growth.
Nearish perfection.
But she left some important features out. Like earlids.
We have eyelids. They work great for not having to look at ugly things, like people wearing their new xmas-gift-sweater-vest, or all the botched facelifts out there.
Why not earlids? Think of the uses. When your boss speaks. When your spouse speaks. When a man is using his favourite sex toy in your vicinity: leaf blower or power washer.
Obviously, they can't work like regular eyelids. If they closed every minute or so, you would get, "Look out, the (silence) will explode (silence) if you (silence) first push the (silence) and turn the (silence)" KABOOM. See what I mean?
They would close on command.
And no earlashes. I've got enough hair around there.
Earlids: There were no ships sailing in my bedroom last night.
