There's an old advertising writer's trick that you need to be aware of.
(Yes, you can end a sentence with "of")
Perhaps you've read these books:
11 Routes to a Fuller Orgasm
9 Teen-Raising Strategies that Don't Involve Skin Lacerations
1001 Wines
Can you guess the trick?
Here's the trick: When making a list, never use even numbers. Readers are more convinced by odd numbers because, so the argument goes, it seems less deliberate, as if the writer went to great lengths to weed out the "best of".
(Again with the "of")
You don't want a book on the 1000 best wines. You need that one last bottle, the one the writer almost forgot because he was tangled in the grapevines, shit-faced on the first thousand bottles.
Author: Sam, stop the press. I found that one extra bottle.
Publisher: It's at the book store.
Author: What are people going to do with the 1000 best wines, you moron? It's ruined.
Don't even bother drinking that last bottle of wine or having that 11th orgasm. Your thirst will not be slaked and the orgasm will most assuredly be faked.
And forget the teen-raising strategies. None of them will work. Just go with physical violence.
