I always feel embarrassed when I order just a coffee at Starbucks.
It's like going to emergency just for a paper cut.
"Would you like us to call the surgeon, sir?"
"Sure."
"That was an I.V. of sarcasm, sir. Get out right now."
The Starbucks staff always look so insulted when I place my order.
"You got out of bed and came here for a coffee?" "A coffee?"
Yes. They ask twice.
"I guess."
"Why are your pants upside down?"
"Because I need coffee."
Then they whisper mean comments, like:
"Wow, is your sex life this interesting too?"
"Would you like a Perry Como cd and a Wonder bread bologna sandwich with your order?"
They just can't accept that all I want is a plain coffee.
"Would you like the warm milk from a camel's toe in this?"
"How about some sprinkles of DNA from a rocket scientist? Makes you smarter."
"Just the coffee, thanks."
