AEIOU and Always Why

One of the first things we learn as children is the alphabet. And the most important question we learn to ask as we explore the world is "Why".

Why is the question that distinguishes humans from all other living things. Not only can we ask why, we are compelled to ask it. All humans need food, water, sex, reasonably priced beer and to know the reason why.

There are two kinds of "why" questions. Upper case "WHY" questions and lower case "why" questions.

WHY questions are the BIG questions: WHY is gravity so much weaker than the other forces of the universe or WHY did human consciousness develop. I like asking these kinds of questions, but only after my fair share of beer, nyquil and the weed.

The more mundane, lower case "why" questions are the questions I want to entertain here. Questions like, why is Canadian beer sold for a lower price in the U.S.?

Here is another question. You are approaching a set of doors. You extend your arm to open one of the doors, say the right door – and it's locked. You are walking full speed ahead, expecting the door to serve its function, but…face, meet plate glass.

Why do we build two doors and lock one of them? Why does this improve the human condition?

Why don't we build other entrance/exit mechanisms where only half the structure is allowed to do its job?

You never run into a turnstile that only turns half way. Immediate castration (for men) or tubal ligation (for women).

Imagine if only half your car doors opened. "Hey Fred, my door won't open."

"Sorry, Tony, I keep those doors locked. Can you squeeze in from this side, around the baby's seat?"

How about revolving doors only working half way. Or you live on the 58th floor of the newest condo and the elevator is only allowed to go to the 28th floor.

So, we don't know WHY humans developed consciousness, but the more important question is, WHY don't the humans who lock these doors use their consciousness?

Gentlemen, we are at the forefront of human ingenuity. We are going to build a structure, and only allow people to use half of it. Pretty soon, all things will be done in half measure.

Maybe, like the locked door, they only keep one of the brain hemispheres switched on. Or maybe I'm being too generous here. Maybe just one neuron works.

Starting today, the glass will ALWAYS be half empty. All houses will be halfway houses.

Can't we meet these people halfway?