Oxford University, in a bid to tarnish its reputation and become just-your-average school, has named Justin Trudeau as a distinguished fellow.
Says Oxford: "We're sick of the attention being the best in the world brings. Mediocrity will bring with it some peace and quite. Finally we can goof off. This is a huge step towards that goal."
Not wanting Katy Perry feeling left out, Oxford has named her undistinguished rock star who tours gymnasiums near you.
Meanwhile, Mark Carney, continuing his reign to be Captain Canada Strong, has earmarked $12 million to put Trudeau's records in library form. This is a record amount spent for any PM.
Canadians are asked to scratch a couple more items off their grocery list so they can survive.
Folks. We. Are. Strong.
