Did you hear Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry are having a spectacular and expensive wedding at Madison Square Garden in New York?
Oh, wait a minute. That's Taylor Swift. Wrong rock star.
Justin and Katy will marry in the back seat of an emissions-free electric car partially supported by Canadian taxpayers. Each guest will be reminded that they are on stolen land while attending the festivities. No one knows yet which Tim Hortons parking lot the ceremony will take place in but guests are encouraged to arrive early due to the crowded drive-thru. All guests should be aware that wedding gifts are not tax deductible in Canada, unless you have an awesome accountant.
The wedding song will be Crime of the Century.
