Upon hearing that it's been suggested President Trump have his face carved into the solid granite of Mount Rushmore, the four famous faces have demanded to be moved.
In their desperation to leave the landmark mountain, the four President's have begun to cry human tears, and won't stop until moved to a better location. Scientists fear that the acidity of human tears will wear away at the granite, causing acne, rosacea and pock marks, possibly looking worse than Keith Richards.
Said Abe Lincoln: Look, I appreciate the honour. Freeing the slaves was really hard, even though many Republicans still yearn for those days. But I've had it with this Trump thing. Put me on a PEZ dispenser if you have to. I'll take a bobblehead. Maybe a door knocker. Just get me outta here.
