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| This is Taylor Swift before makeup and hair. She is not a Nazi. |
I've always wanted to do the celebrity point, smile and wave.
This is a kind of rehearsed, animalistic dance famous people do that makes them so much more special than you and me.
While the celebrity is walking (some, like Jolie, Paltrow and Swift, actually float) on the magical red carpet, or on the glorious award-receiving stage, he or she will point to someone far off in the distance, smile and proceed to wave in a super important, meaningful way.
It's to say, "Thank God. Another event telling me how wonderful I am. It's been a whole week since the last one. Shit, is my desperation for fame showing? I better engage in a mundane gesture like waving at a mystery person or people will think I actually need this stuff. Now they'll think I'm a regular person. Fools."
I don't have any real occasion to do the celebrity point, smile and wave but I do it anyway.
The subway is my favourite place. When I get on the train, and before I sit on my throne, I point to the other end of the train, smile and wave vigourously. Then I make a kind of "oh stop your joking" kind of hand flip, showing everyone how good natured I am about interacting with regular people, and that I can take a good self-deprecating joke.
My first attempt at this was a bit awkward. The train was going around a bend so you could only see to the end of my car. When I did the celebrity point, smile and wave, passengers clearly knew that no one was there. Oops.
Anyway, I worked out those kinks and I'm happy with my celebrity point, smile and wave. It makes me feel special, while at the same time convincing people that I'm just like them.
