It's a drag when I'm on the subway and I have to clean my iPhone screen, all grimy from fingerprints and spit, so I rub it and rub it on my pants, then have to explain to people that no, I don't think my body's a big lamp and there's a genie inside me just dying to come out and grant me three wishes. Maybe I should rub harder and longer?
Or that I'm a masseur studying for an imminent exam.
I'm just cleaning my phone. Don't you ever do that?
