Those were the nanoseconds

One of the great things I love about science is that they are discovering new and interesting things all the time. Our picture of the universe is getting more complicated and interesting every day.

Unlike religion, of course. Religions never discover anything new. They aren't even looking. There will always be 72 virgins awaiting you and the temperature of Hell never changes, even factoring in global warming.

This is how things were, are, and will be forever so shut up and follow the rules.

Oh sure, they discover a pedophile priest or two, but there's nothing revolutionary or surprising about that.

A very recent discovery about the universe has me quite depressed. Scientists have found evidence of the so-called "inflationary period".

The discovery is pretty difficult to understand. All I really get about it is that scientists found gravitational waves that confirm the "inflation" theory. What is a gravitational wave? I have no idea, but I know I feel them around my waist and hips.

The inflation period is easy to understand (although impossible to conceive actually happening) and is also quite depressing.

The inflation theory states that at some time just after the big bang the universe expanded about a trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion times its tiny size in about a nanosecond.

That's right, it's kind of like having breakfast at a Denny's. Expansion occurs very quickly.

And we're talking about an extremely short period of time. Between 10-35 seconds and 10-24 seconds. That is fast, indeed. Trillionths of a second fast. There's only about one activity I can do that quickly. And even that is slowing down.

Depressing, isn't it? This means that just before 10-35 seconds, let's say 10-36 seconds, everything in the universe was cheaper. Much cheaper.

I remember those nanoseconds fondly. You could fill up your car for 0.00000000000000001 cents. And that's premium gas!

Macintosh computers were about the price of a slap in the face and they actually paid you enormous sums to "buy" a PC.

Back then the U.S. had free health care and no Republicans to argue that we can't afford health care because it's too expensive sending people to their death in the Middle East. Imagine, no John Boner (or is that Boehner?). I bet you John Lennon can imagine that.

The entire universe was one big, tiny Costco. I would have stocked up on everything if I knew prices were going way up four trillionths of a second later.

A little notice next time, please.

Ah yes, those were the nanoseconds.