It's hard to pick who is the dumbest Republican around. It's like picking the cutest puppy. They're all so damn cute.
Lots of times I think I have it figured out and then another one comes along and opens their mouth.
Is it really a worthwhile activity? Picking the dumbest Republican? I'm not sure but they all seem to be vying for the honour. So might as well try.
There's Dr. Oz. He tries to hide behind a big curtain of sanity but he's a few rings short. I peg this guy as the type that feeds Dorothy Rohypnol in a threesome with the Tin Man. For years he was peddled by the likes of Oprah but people seem to have forgotten that. He's in a tight race with Dr. Phil for Dr. Whack Job of the Century.
What about Pete? Pete Hogsbreath. Secretary of War? Also in the running was Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Rdigemont High until Trump found out Sean Penn wouldn't play him for 4 years. This guy makes Gomer Pyle look like Sun Tzu. He quotes characters from Call of Duty, eats peanut butter and testosterone sandwiches by the armoured personnel carrier and declares his sex life a war zone. He's a very strong contender.
Then comes along Eric Schmitt. We have a winner! This guy thinks Dostoyevsky's The Idiot is his autobiography. If only he could read. He proves that as a system, evolution is very broken.
Look for the awards show coming soon.
