Friday, 11 September 2026

Five grand ol' time

Elon Musk issued a statement saying he's really pumped about receiving Donald Trump's $5000 gift.

"This really tops up my income and I have big plans for the cash."

"It's the little things I'm looking forward to buying. Like those ziplock bags with the extra grooves so you don't spend an hour trying to match them up while my leftover hot dogs go stale."

He also hopes to hire an advisor to come up with even stranger names for his children. He's running out of ideas after coming up with Seldon Lycurgus. Ideally, he wants as many children as there are Tesla's on the road - 7.2 million.