Wednesday 26 January 2022

A Dime from the Dead

I usually bow out of a conversation when someone starts it with, "You know, I'm not superstitious, but…"

The current superstition making the rounds (Facebook, where I gain all my scientific knowledge) has us believe that finding a dime on the ground is a "hello" from the dead.

I'm dead serious. Wondering what your dead relatives are up to? Collecting pocket change. Not on a street corner, thankfully. Hey, can you play Death Metal on that harp?

Look, I hate to impose logic on an emotional state of being, but…COME ON.

If dead people have the power to sprinkle money around, why only a dime? Jesus, with inflation it should at least be a quarter. What about a dime in cryptocurrency? Can they leave that? Why not help me pay my mortgage, dead person? I have to live in a house – you get a free cloud.

If dollar amount is ever a reflection of love, this is it. You have this glorious power to make money appear and it's a lousy dime. Ya, miss you too. See you in Heaven, cheapskate.

Here's my promise to you. When I'm dead, you'll be finding fifty dollar bills on your way to the grocery store. Make it a C-note if you say nice things about me.

Make it a nice cool "G". Why do I care? I don't need it. I get money anytime I want.

Or do I need an Angel investor?