The North Korean regime finally admitted that their dear leader does not operate outside of the laws of physics.
It turns out that Kim cannot, after all, bend time and space. Interestingly though, he can bend a 260 mile Twinkie and insert it in his mouth. That's the length of the Korean DMZ and Kim's ego.
Upon hearing this, the song Break it to Them Gently came to mind. By Burton Cummings. There's also a song by Brenda Lee called Break it to Me Gently, which would do fine too, but kind of before my time.
I really wish they would have properly prepared the world for this startling news. You can't just go and break illusions like that and expect things to go on like tickety-boo.
To quote the regime: Kim cannot disappear, bend space and reappear somewhere else. That's impossible."
The real scandal is that they are wrong about this. General Relativity does, indeed, predict wormholes, which would allow you to travel huge distances in a short time by warping space. Keep in mind that space warps in the presence of a huge mass, like Kim's stomach. Of course, you need to build an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, which I'm told doesn't come cheap, and you can't even drive your car over it. It would cost way more to build than the Chunnel did, and at the end of it you can't buy a freshly baked croissant.
But just imagine, in the morning you can get from your bed to the coffee maker instantly. Not quite fast enough for me, but it'll have to do.
Maybe Kim is short-selling himself. Has he ever tried travelling through a wormhole? He is, after all, Rocket Man. Would he fit in one? What would it do to his hair?
Important questions that science needs to answer.
