Tuesday 29 January 2019

The Ghost of Gustav Holst

Helloooo Newman is interviewing the ghost of Gustav Holst.

The Goost, as he likes to be called, composed The Planets in 1916. The Planets is one the most famous and recognizable musical pieces every written.

HN: Mr. Goost, thank for taking the time out of your busy cathedral-haunting schedule to speak with HN.

Goost: I'd like to say it's my pleasure but, you know, I'm dead.

HN: What was your inspiration for writing The Planets.

Goost: Um, the planets were. That's why it's called The Planets. Seven planets, seven pieces.

HN: Very interesting.

Goost: Are we done here?

HN: You must be so glad you wrote The Planets in 1916 and not today.

Goost: Wada you mean?

HN: Well, as of 2019 astronomers have discovered 3,706 planets with our modern observatories and satellites. That's 3,706 pieces you would have to write. That's a lot of notes, eh?

Goost: Are you vaping mustard gas? No fucking way I'm writing 3,706 pieces. When's my downtime? I'll need way more money. A man's gotta eat. Does my agent know about this?

HN: Hey, did you see Amadeus? Awesome movie, eh? "Too many notes" – so funny.

Goost: I see why no one reads your blog.