Yesterday I died for two minutes and I experienced…absolutely nothing. It was a pleasant nothing. As far as nothing goes, it was something else. Nothing happened, and it kept not happening over and over again. Frankly, it became boring, but there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't see a light, I didn't hear harp music, I saw none of my dead friends. It was so startlingly nothing that I felt I should take notes on the non-experience. Here are my original notes:
Nothingness.
I'll be writing a book on what didn't happen. Do the talk show circuit, explaining exactly what nothing is. People get confused on what nothingness is. Their expectations are too high. I'm here to tell you it's not as much fun as you might think.
Don't be afraid to die. There's nothing to it.
HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
