I decided a long time ago I don't want to live to be really old.
Whenever I hear of someone who dies before 80, I think wow, what's their secret? Please tell me it's chicken wings and beer.
I want the full death experience so I'm thinking I'll hire a death coach. My life coach knows a good one. I tried calling him but his line is always dead.
I kinda wonder how death feels about being…death. I imagine he's thinking: "you know, I originally applied to be life. He gets all the girls. I get necrophilia. My worst days is when it's a life or death situation. Then I have to cooperate with life and we don't get along.
I'm buddies with taxes, though. Death and taxes, what a joke! I haven't paid taxes in eons."
Truth is, I'm really afraid of dying. Maybe I'll have some appointment when it happens so I won't be there. Chances are it will happen when I'm napping, since that's what I'm doing most at any given time. If I am awake, I hope it doesn't happen slowly, like as slow as the Finch LRT. I want it real quick, like the male reaching orgasm.
Anyway, those are my Christmas thoughts. Enjoy yours.
Enjoy your death. In the meantime, you might as well enjoy Christmas.
