I read some really great news today.
Famed physicist Stephen Hawking announced that at any moment, the Higgs boson field could collapse and instantly wipe out the universe.
Specifically, the boson could cause a quantum fluctuation, which creates a vacuum bubble that expands and destroys everything in its path.
I was a tad scared that I created a vacuum bubble yesterday when I was vacuuming the living room and accidentally sucked up my gym socks, but I guess it wasn't big enough. They weren't the type of socks that go up to the knee. Thank God. Imagine the flack I would get for ending all of reality.
Is there really any point in raking up the leaves, putting them neatly in bags, when a universe-destroying vacuum could possibly do it for me?
Mr. Hawking said the vacuum may be on its way right now but it just hasn't reached us yet. And you want me to cut the lawn? I don't think so.
I'll do some laundry, maybe a few dishes, but that's it.
I'm gonna let nature do the rest.
