God and Jesus

It's Christmastime and that means I think a lot about…Jesus.

I wonder how He celebrates the holidays. Does He watch himself in The Little Drummer Boy? That's my favourite religious movie, mostly because I've always wished I could play the drums. If Jesus were a decent guy He would give the drummer boy a full spread of drums, instead of that rusty tin thing He picked up at a garage sale.

I suspect He avoids God during these times because He's afraid God will find some other place to lock him up in other than a cave. "Hey Jesus, I want you to sleep in this Smart car for 3 days. While we're at it let's put Noah and all the animals in there too."

"Ya, it's to save humanity again. Global warming and all that shit."

"What? Sure I could save them, but what fun is that? Infinity gets boring after the first 10 trillion years. Wanna play Jenga with the African continent?"

I like to think I'm smarter than your average religion, but have you noticed how I capitalize He when I'm talking about God and Jesus? Habit? Or I'm afraid They observe grammatical tradition very closely here on earth.

Recently I heard a priest say that you don't have to be religious to have faith. That's true, but not the problem we have in this world. The problem is you don't have to have faith to behave religiously.