Thursday 12 September 2019

Pilattes

Pilattes is a new form of exercise that's catching on. It combines your two favourite things: having a perfect body and filling it with sugar.

First you do some pilates. Not much. Couple of minutes should do it. Then you go to Starbucks and order a 1200-calorie latte with a list of ingredients longer than that required to build a nuke. It should be the perfect temperature. Not too hot. Warm. Warmish. Maybe luke warm. That might be too cold, so lukish warm. If you know someone named Luke, get him to warm it up for you. Then have another one.

That's it.

Easy.

Pilattes.

Look cool. Drink sugar.